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My Situation

Sunev

Unremarkable
Joined
Oct 5, 2017
Messages
18
I'm sorry that I'm even posting this, but I'd rather keep you all informed, as of January 11th 2017, I was with someone I seriously cared about, someone I loved, the next couple of months had me... well, Good, I was happy, surprisingly so. But upon August 11th, We Broke up, I suffer quite bad anxiety at times in the real world, and this gave me a feeling of hopelessness, I sadly have been proven to suffer depression, and this isn't easy for me to cope with. As of the past 2 months, My Mother was confirmed to have problems so she needed major operation, this had me extremely worried and my stress levels heavily rose (thankfully she was fine as she left). But after the morning I'm writing this on, that all changed, I stopped caring for both my parents, I felt hopeless, uncared for, everything is just painful for me to live with, and please don't think I'm writing this for the sake of attention, I'm not. it's part of why I've been away from Flux for so long.
(The ones in Red are ones I don't have, but those uncoloured I do, Those In Blue are specifics if left uncoloured, I have the whole thing)

  • Feelings of sadness, tearfulness, emptiness or hopelessness
  • Angry outbursts, irritability or frustration, even over small matters
  • Loss of interest or pleasure in most or all normal activities, such as sex, hobbies or sports
  • Sleep disturbances, including insomnia or sleeping too much
  • Tiredness and lack of energy, so even small tasks take extra effort
  • Reduced appetite and weight loss or increased cravings for food and weight gain
  • Anxiety, agitation or restlessness
  • Slowed thinking, speaking or body movements
  • Feelings of worthlessness or guilt, fixating on past failures or self-blame
  • Trouble thinking, concentrating, making decisions and remembering things
  • Frequent or recurrent thoughts of death, suicidal thoughts, suicide attempts or suicide
  • Unexplained physical problems, such as back pain or headaches
Those are the common signs of depression, 12 of the 13 I've been shown to have, It's a horrible life having to live with it.

Please understand this is not for click bait or attention, I just want you all to understand what I'm going through and that It's likely I may have to move home again, Get away from my parents, it's only killing me inside and raising my blood pressure, I've already told my mother I'm suicidal, but after this morning, I don't think she cares. Take with this what you will, I may still be around Flux, but maybe not the same for awhile.

Bottom Line Is, This is what has had me in the past couple of months, But I seems I've suffered depression most of my life. (Also please know, I'm not willing to go into too big of detail about certain topics, it's got me shivering as I'm even writing this)
Please be happy regardless of what I'm going through, and for anyone else that has the same problems, you're not alone, I know your pain, you can do this, even If I may not be able to.
 
Last edited:

OutOnOwen

Truly Feared
Joined
Oct 19, 2017
Messages
211
I'm sorry that I'm even posting this, but I'd rather keep you all informed, as of January 11th 2017, I was with someone I seriously cared about, someone I loved, the next couple of months had me... well, Good, I was happy, surprisingly so. But upon August 11th, We Broke up, I suffer quite bad anxiety at times in the real world, and this gave me a feeling of hopelessness, I sadly have been proven to suffer depression, and this isn't easy for me to cope with. As of the past 2 months, My Mother was confirmed to have problems so she needed major operation, this had me extremely worried and my stress levels heavily rose (thankfully she was fine as she left). But after the morning I'm writing this on, that all changed, I stopped caring for both my parents, I felt hopeless, uncared for, everything is just painful for me to live with, and please don't think I'm writing this for the sake of attention, I'm not. it's part of why I've been away from Flux for so long.
(The ones in Red are ones I don't have, but those uncoloured I do, Those In Blue are specifics if left uncoloured, I have the whole thing)

  • Feelings of sadness, tearfulness, emptiness or hopelessness
  • Angry outbursts, irritability or frustration, even over small matters
  • Loss of interest or pleasure in most or all normal activities, such as sex, hobbies or sports
  • Sleep disturbances, including insomnia or sleeping too much
  • Tiredness and lack of energy, so even small tasks take extra effort
  • Reduced appetite and weight loss or increased cravings for food and weight gain
  • Anxiety, agitation or restlessness
  • Slowed thinking, speaking or body movements
  • Feelings of worthlessness or guilt, fixating on past failures or self-blame
  • Trouble thinking, concentrating, making decisions and remembering things
  • Frequent or recurrent thoughts of death, suicidal thoughts, suicide attempts or suicide
  • Unexplained physical problems, such as back pain or headaches
Those are the common signs of depression, 12 of the 13 I've been shown to have, It's a horrible life having to live with it.

Please understand this is not for click bait or attention, I just want you all to understand what I'm going through and that It's likely I may have to move home again, Get away from my parents, it's only killing me inside and raising my blood pressure, I've already told my mother I'm suicidal, but after this morning, I don't think she cares. Take with this what you will, I may still be around Flux, but maybe not the same for awhile.

Bottom Line Is, This is what has had me in the past couple of months, But I seems I've suffered depression most of my life. (Also please know, I'm not willing to go into too big of detail about certain topics, it's having my shivering as I'm even writing this)
Please be happy regardless of what I'm going through, and for anyone else that has the same problems, you're not alone, I know your pain, you can do this, even If I may not be able to.
Ok, so most of these symptoms are horrible especially the suicide one, but it will be ok after a while, I've gone through the highest stages of depression, I once was even hospitalised for trying to stab myself to death, but after a while you will find out that there is a massive community of people who are suffering the same thoughts as you are, when I was in depression I felt no one cared for me or loved me but now I realised that it's just my brain playing games with me, no one hates you so much that they want to kill you, I had a few people who "hate" me and want to kill me but deep inside it's not true, I guess you can call it a "phase" I know you might think it's different but this happens to millions of people around the world, try to be optimistic, you being born in the first place is 1 in 10 trillion or so, so try to keep it out of your mind, you can hang out with your friends, you can keep in touch of the flux community and just try to think of the good parts of life.
 

Sunev

Unremarkable
Joined
Oct 5, 2017
Messages
18
Ok, so most of these symptoms are horrible especially the suicide one, but it will be ok after a while, I've gone through the highest stages of depression, I once was even hospitalised for trying to stab myself to death, but after a while you will find out that there is a massive community of people who are suffering the same thoughts as you are, when I was in depression I felt no one cared for me or loved me but now I realised that it's just my brain playing games with me, no one hates you so much that they want to kill you, I had a few people who "hate" me and want to kill me but deep inside it's not true, I guess you can call it a "phase" I know you might think it's different but this happens to millions of people around the world, try to be optimistic, you being born in the first place is 1 in 10 trillion or so, so try to keep it out of your mind, you can hang out with your friends, you can keep in touch of the flux community and just try to think of the good parts of life.

I appreciate the optimism, Thanks, but I've had this for years, so that's one hell of a "phase", but either way, I appreciate the words of wisdom.
 

ImpossibleZ

Notably Dangerous
Joined
Aug 30, 2017
Messages
126
If you ever need someone to spend time talking to I'm always available :)
 

Engie

Uncharitable
Joined
Sep 3, 2017
Messages
97
We're a close community at Flux. Anyone who plays and respects everyone, like yourself, is apart of the family.

If you ever need advice or service, we're always very happy to help :D
 

adam

a stupid
Joined
Jun 7, 2017
Messages
444
Flux is a family, if you ever need advice, ask any of us, we are always here.
I hope you get over these problems soon.
And here's a piece of advice: Always look for the light, the better, do not look back on the bad side.
I hope you get well soon, I've had most of these problems myself, but I somehow got over with them.
When I was like 10 years old, I was getting bullied in School and cyber bullied in the Internet, I wanted to end my life but I didn't want to, I thought I'd wait some time and then get over it.
The year ago, I don't know how but I made friends, till now I'm making more friends.
The best option is wait, stay on your natural personality, do not be depressed.
What is happening to you happens to all of us, so you are not the only one.
Take care.
 

SWIGGY

Truly Feared
Joined
Aug 30, 2017
Messages
206
You are not the only one, struggle through it and always keep your head up.
 

Sunev

Unremarkable
Joined
Oct 5, 2017
Messages
18
Flux is a family, if you ever need advice, ask any of us, we are always here.
I hope you get over these problems soon.
And here's a piece of advice: Always look for the light, the better, do not look back on the bad side.
I hope you get well soon, I've had most of these problems myself, but I somehow got over with them.
When I was like 10 years old, I was getting bullied in School and cyber bullied in the Internet, I wanted to end my life but I didn't want to, I thought I'd wait some time and then get over it.
The year ago, I don't know how but I made friends, till now I'm making more friends.
The best option is wait, stay on your natural personality, do not be depressed.
What is happening to you happens to all of us, so you are not the only one.
Take care.

Thanks for the Advice, I will try it out and let you know how it goes :)
PS: Since Christmas Arrived I'm Feeling Happier Now, I Guess The Holidays Have That Sweet Effect On Me, And I Love It, Merry Christmas Flux! HOOT! (Edit: Fuck my grammar and tendency to use all caps at times XD)
 

Mr.

Sufficiently Lethal
Joined
Jun 11, 2017
Messages
175
God bless you, my friend.
 
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